10 Lessons Learned From Life’s Struggles, Positive Thinking & Completely Letting Go

Person with open arms over water

You take care of yourself, treat people kindly, stay honest, and work hard. But things eventually go bad. What’s up with that?

You worry about a loved one’s ill health or perhaps your own.

Or if your failing relationship could be reconciled.

Or if you could get through unexpected hardships from work and life.

You drown in despair asking “Why me? Why’s my life happening this way?”

This drove me to search for the true meaning for life, for living.

For years, I relentlessly scoured around for answers. Approaching and understanding different points of view with an open mind.

The way I view life now, transformed with the following lessons.

1. Recognize Earth as a School

South Asian and East Asian traditions for millennia have beliefs about this well-known subject.

You’re born. Live your life. Then die. Then start the process all over again.

More than half of Americans believe in reincarnation.

Scientists talk about the Simulation Hypothesis. They think our universe is an artificial simulation.

This explains how we could possibly live multiple lives.

Thousands of folks subjected to past life regression vividly recall previous lives in detail. What ethnicity they were, what they did during their lifetime, and how they died.

What does this have to do with anything? Well, allow yourself to peek behind the curtain.

You see, the hopeless situations or countless conflicts we encounter exist for a very specific purpose.

The life we have now is just one of many lives we live.

We experience different lives…from different perspectives…from different situations…learning by trial and error…to obtain knowledge and wisdom.

Everything that happens to you. Both good and bad happens for a reason. That’s to gain insight from each lifetime.

2. Live Life to the Fullest No Matter What Hand You’re Dealt

If your predicament is temporary or permanent, see it as either one of two perspectives:

  1. An impediment. To feel sorry for yourself. As something to regret for the rest of your life.
  2. A blessing in disguise. An opportunity to gain strength. To transform yourself and help others.

Picking the latter is your absolute best bet.

You don’t stop playing the game because of a restriction or disability. You plow through and adapt.

You’re familiar with the blind having extraordinary hearing? This applies to you too.

Realize a limitation is just extra power relocated to another part of your mind or body.

Your task, if you choose to accept it. Is to find out where that power has shifted.

By digging deep and developing the fortitude to overcome adversity, limitations help transform you into a powerful inspiration.

3. Know You’re Supposed to Have Challenges

There’s no such thing as a perfect life.

It’s empowering to welcome unexpected setbacks. Because an opportunity for informal training has presented itself.

Without challenges, how in the world can you grow? If you always take the easy way out, you remain stagnant.

But if a difficult problem knocks on your door, it’s the universe scheduling a test. Think of it as your flu shot for the season.

If you have no challenges. Actively pursue something. Anything.

Learn a new skill or get out of your comfort zone. Tell a family member you love them if you’ve never done it before.

Welcome a challenge with open arms and be rewarded. Do nothing and get nothing.

4. Learn to Forgive & Love Yourself First

Done something in the past you feel guilty about? Had a falling out in the past but wish you could fix it? We all have.

And now you’re trying to go out and enjoy life to somehow put it behind you? Sorry, but you won’t find true contentment unless you forgive and love yourself first.

It’s like convincing folks to go out and vote even if you don’t vote yourself. It flat out doesn’t work.

If others refuse to forgive you even if you’re authentically contrite. Be graceful about it. Realize it’s something they need to work on at their end.

Give permission to forgive yourself. Surrender and accept yourself for all your imperfections. Show gratitude for who you are “as is”.

Heal yourself first on the inside. Give it time and allow everything else to naturally fall into place on the outside.

5. Stop Controlling Other People’s Outcomes

We’re control freaks. We want our loved ones to be healthy, safe, and sound.

It’s wonderful you care. Willing to do whatever it takes to help others. But here’s the thing.

You can only worry so much. You can only do so much.

If the person you’re helping is not responding the way you want no matter what you do. Here are 2 important things to remember:

  1. We need to respect free will.
  2. We can only help those who truly want to help themselves. Meaning you can open the door, but they still have to walk through it.

There’s nothing wrong with not giving up or caring more than you should. Kudos for sticking to it no matter what.

But if the aftermath were something less than desirable. There’s no reason to feel the blame.

Sometimes, friends or family have to learn the hard way, though necessary way, to learn a valuable lesson.

You’ve given care to the best of your ability. But by accepting their outcome, you’re also displaying unconditional love in the process.

6. Don’t Worry What Others Think of You

No one lives your life but you. No one controls your life but you.

And yet we fall into the trap of appeasing others. Why let them affect us?

We waste time or money trying to fit into society. Trying to impress others.

If you thrive on validation, it gives a false sense of accomplishment.

You don’t have to conform to what you think they should see. If you do, you’re feeding your ego. And you’re deviating from your authentic self.

Don’t use people’s perceptions about you as a measuring stick. It’s inaccurate, pointless, and disguises the real you.

7. Realize Your Relationships & Experiences Mean More Than Possessions

What’s the number one thing people regret not having the most when they’re about to die?

Not possessions. Not money either.

Quite unsurprisingly: It’s time with people. Time with loved ones.

Death is the ultimate filter.

Because it takes out all the fluff and shows you what truly matters. Love.

Sometimes we have huge arguments about that scratch on your new luxury car or cracked touchpad on your phone. I’m exaggerating to make a point. But all these things are petty and insignificant.

When issues get in the way, realize what’s truly important on this earth.

Your journey, your experiences in life with the people you interact with are the most valuable things you will ever have. Period.

8. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

When you go to school you don’t compare your Spanish class with someone’s Algebra class and see who’s better in school. It’s apples and oranges.

You’re on your own path and have your own “courses” in life just like school.

You’re put into different circumstances. Armed with different traits, qualities, and quirks that make you unique.

Steer clear from comparisons.

If you compare what others have versus what you don’t, you’re creating a non-existent problem that will never be solved.

9. Accept What has Already Happened

Stop replaying the scene in your head wishing you’d done something differently.

When you accept something you initially couldn’t come to terms with, you’re creating a deeper understanding within you.

Sometimes tragic events that unfold don’t make a lick of sense. It’s up to us to discover its meaning. Whatever that may be.

If someone passes away, we hurt inside. But their passing teaches us lessons that we could not learn any other way.

It forces you to move forward with no other recourse. To look inward and be at peace with the outcome.

Acceptance is a hard-earned skill that’s painful, but necessary for growth.

10. Allow the Solution to Find You

If you’ve been racking your brain trying to find an answer. Doing everything you can but still can’t find a way out.

It’s a tell-tale sign you need a break. Sometimes we get in our own way feverishly trying to solve a problem.

Instead, give the universe a chance to find it for you. So take a breather and let the dust settle.

Later, you might just discover a friend could actually help your family out. Or that initial misunderstanding at the doctor’s office regarding health coverage has now cleared up. But whatever it may be…

Solutions to problems gradually rise to the surface and present themselves when you least expect it.

See Life’s Road Bumps as Opportunities for Growth

In life you get overwhelmed with pain and suffering. Life can push you past your limits and knock you down.

Unless you realize the bigger picture behind it all.

Therein lies the true test: The ability to extract knowledge and wisdom from every setback life throws at you. Challenges range in difficulty. From easy…to tough…to harsh…to excruciatingly merciless.

You have it in you to survive difficult episodes in life.

Envision yourself working through pain and never giving up. Forgiving and loving others. Letting go without envy, hate, or greed. Inspiring others to do the same by leading and learning by example.

No matter how upsetting or humiliating or distressful something appears in life. ALL experiences add to your spiritual growth.

No matter if you’re able to attain beautiful balance in life or feel as if your down to your lowest point…

There is MEANING and PURPOSE with EVERYTHING you go through in life.

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